– The ancient art of ambrosia
by Saida Desilets,
founder of Jade Goddess
Blessings come in many beautiful shapes and colours, may this one be full of sweetness and bliss!
The ancient art of ambrosia (female ejaculation) is a resurging mystery that intrigues more and more modern-day people. Esoteric traditions (Tantric and Taoist) and western science have many perspectives on this form of female sexual expression. Both perspectives have value in shedding light on this at once controversial and mysterious topic.
The first step in exploring something that has stigma and an emotional charge around it is to open one’s mind, letting go of past conceptions to make room for new possibilities. There are a multitude of reasons as to why this subject remains virtually unknown and unaccepted, however for the purpose of simplicity this paper will focus more on what it is, where it comes from in the body, and how a woman can access this experience.
First of all, an understanding of the very nature of female sexual essence needs to be explored. A woman is, in essence, YIN. Like the ocean she is deep, mysterious, watery. Feminine sexual power can be frightening, from having the power to host another life within her to accessing what seems like limitless bliss. In the Taoist traditions YIN is considered inexhaustible, cool, earthy, receptive and fertile. Most women today have lost contact with their deeper YIN essence and have cultivated primarily the YANG, or more surface aspects of themselves.
This is largely due to the lack of proper sexual education, early social conditioning and religious dogma. As advanced as our society is, when it comes to more fully understanding sexual energy and its management most are left with the education they receive from planned parenthood in junior high as well as the effects of media (movies, TV and internet). This education covers the basic anatomy and some preconceived ideas about what sexual performance should look like. Unfortunately this, combined with ‘good girl/bad girl’ upbringing and possible religious dogma around self-pleasuring has mislead most women to feel that their bodies are inadequate and do not value their YIN or softness. It is a common trend to desire a washboard stomach, to not be ‘so sensitive’ or ‘emotional’, to strive in the aggressive world by being aggressive, rather than loving. The ‘wham-bang-thank-you-ma’am’ mentality of modern sexual habits has also played a part in keeping the mystery of woman and the ambrosia (female ejaculation) undiscovered, or in some way hidden and repressed. The deeper, subtler aspects of sexuality have little appeal to most, yet these can actually lead to a much greater experience of erotic pleasure, as well as the activation of the ‘three sacred waters’ (the three types of female ejaculate).
Part of understanding a fuller picture of a more subtle sexual expression is exploring a person’s ‘erotic fingerprint’. More subtle sexual expression is one that is geared on honing one’s intuition and practicing the Tantric/Taoist techniques of sexual activation. Every individual has an erotic signature, as unique and diverse as one’s fingerprint. It is very important to know one’s own ‘activation sequence’ in order to be able to communicate this clearly to a partner. The more comfortable a woman can become with her erotic responses, the more she will be able to relax into the experience of receiving. This is largely due to dispelling the fear of the ‘unknown’ and having a deeper understanding and acceptance of one’s own unique sexual responses, thus enabling the ability to relax and receive. I have personally found the relationship between the heart and yoni (female genitals) to be very powerful. The more open the heart, the more juicy the yoni. The more love involved, the more ejaculate is produced. This can be explained in the esoteric practices of the union of Kan and Li (water and fire): the kidneys (Kan/water) and heart (Li/fire) blend their cold and hot energies, creating a steam which induces orgasmic responses in the brain and body. The more open the heart, the more heat or fire there is to warm up the cool sexual waters of the genitals, which are ruled by the kidneys.
The ejaculate itself is rather intriguing and has been the source of much speculation and debate. There have been some surprising results in recent research which help explain the three sacred waters.
There is an understanding in both taoist qi gong and western medicine that the formation of the ovaries and testes occur in the kidney tissue and drop down with development. It has been recently found that as the fetus differentiates into a male, a sponge-like tissue forms into his prostate and wraps itself around this urethra. In a woman the same tissue also wraps around the urethra, creating the urethral sponge (corpus spongiosum). This tissue has the same ducts in both the urethra and the prostate. “A number of researchers – in Israel and the USA – have established that tissue of the G-spot area contains an enzyme that is usually found only in the male prostatic glands. This may indicate that we are dealing here with a ‘female version’ of the prostatic glands, a collection of glands which also in men is rather sensitive to touch and pressure.” (Dr. G. Schubach Ed.D, A.C.S,).
The first result, therefore, is regarding the urethral sponge, the erectile tissue surrounding the urethra which swells upon sexual excitement. “Female ejaculation comes from up to 30 or more tiny glands embedded in the urethral sponge, the tube of spongy erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra.” (Rebecca Chalker, author of clitoral truth). This was explained in the development of the fetus. Stimulation of the woman’s g-spot activates these ducts to secrete a fluid, just as massage of the male g-spot (prostate) also causes prostate fluid to be secreted. “The g-spot in women is analogous to the prostate in men … like the prostate, the g-spot can produce a fluid-like semen (but not as viscous) which may be released on orgasm.” (Dr. G. Schubach Ed.D, A.C.S, see above link).
The second result demonstrates that the kidneys are activated to release a non-urine substance into the bladder itself. “The clear inference was that the expelled fluid is an altered form of urine, meaning that there appears to be a process that goes on during sensual or sexual stimulation and excitement that effects the chemical composition of urine … lose the appearance and smell of urine due to the secretion of the hormone aldosterone….” (Dr. G. Shubach). This is an important link between western medicine and Taoist understanding, in which the kidneys store the Jing (sexual) chi, and thus would be responsible for creating sexual secretions.
The third is more speculation then research based and relates to the cervix itself. The cervix is known to produce secretions and different types of mucus throughout the monthly cycle of a woman and discussion suggests that it is the source of the denser, whiter ejaculate.
As stated earlier, the length of time dedicated to sexual encounters reflects the busyness of modern life: short, intense and to the point. To arouse the ambrosia, (ejaculate) more time is needed. The art and joy of foreplay – kissing, licking, stroking, massaging, nibbling, touching and activating the entire body, is essential to getting the sacred waters to rise and begin to flow. Paying special attention to the neck, nipples and inner thighs will activate the sexual hormones. The longer foreplay is extended, the more succulent a woman will become. Taoists are very fond of foreplay and know that with prolonged stimulation, the 3 sacred waters start to be produced.
The clitoris, the g-spot and the cervix, referred to in Taoist terminology as the three gates, all play an essential role in the release of the three waters (ambrosia). For the sake of simplicity I will discuss the 3 gates (see diagram) in the sequence of most surface to most deep.
The first gate is known as the clitoris. This tiny jewel is often difficult to locate, and always unique in its erotic fingerprint. Each woman will have her own code to unlock this gateway. “The tip or glans alone has more than 8000 sensory nerve endings – more than any other part of the human body.” (Rebecca Chalker – Clitoral truth).
Using her own juices (created by the foreplay) is a fantastic way to awaken the clitoris, as these are designed for this very purpose. For example, the bartholin’s glands are known to lubricate the vagina during sexual intercourse. Her own essence will be more arousing then synthetics or saliva, though both of these have their place. She may also need to pull back her hood gently to expose this tiny knob of bliss.
Part of the adventure of activating clitoral ejaculation is patience on behalf of the giver and receiver. Clitoral stimulation can at times be irritating to a woman, yet if she can stay open in her heart and surrender to receiving pleasure fully as well as communicate her needs, the irritation will pass and she will be able to further relax and produce the 1st water, or clitoral ejaculation.
Breathing techniques and awareness of circulating the sexual energy through the micro-cosmic orbit, the ren and du channels (qi gong and acupunture meridians) will help redirect some of the intense arousal energy away from the clitoris and up to the brain and the rest of the body, thus enhancing the capacity for pleasure. The clitoris is known to Taoists to have direct connection to the pineal gland, thus stimulation and redirecting the aroused chi (energy)can further enhance the orgasmic experience. Many would argue as to ‘why would one want to move the energy away from the genitals?’ and this is seen as not a pleasure-diminishing technique, but rather to be pleasure-enhancing by spreading the orgasmic feeling throughout the body.
The clitoral ejaculate can come from the skenes glands, which open on either side of the urethra, the bladder or both. This liquid is very clear and light. The first water (and orgasm) will further stimulate the glands in the endocrine system to become alert and activated. This fuller activation is part of the process to having a woman experience higher orgasm (instead of a short lived, genital orgasm).
This leads us to the second gate, or the g-spot (goddess spot). By now the woman will have had at least one orgasm and will be quite aroused, thus making her 2nd gate available for opening. Firm, gentle and patient stimulation with loving intent will enable the g-spot to activate. It is common for a woman to feel the urge to urinate during this session (clearing the bladder beforehand can ease the mind). This would make sense as the kidneys start to activate their production of the 2nd water (aldosterone transformed urine) and fill the bladder.
Relaxation is key to the 2nd water flow. This particular massage is deeply sacred and can induce feelings of vulnerability and even anger. With awareness and warm, loving, heart energy, deep healing can occur as a side effect of this activation. The more open and soft the woman’s heart is, the more she will relax. Both partners can start to breathe more deeply and encourage sounds to come from deep within the body. The activation of the throat center (voice) also lends to opening this gate. In the Tantric traditions the throat chakra and sex chakra are intricately linked and effect each other. Voice activation will help further activation of the sex chakra. I am not referring to the Hollywood style of screaming and moaning, but rather the natural sounds that are produced through surrendering to pleasure. The 2nd gate can take anywhere from a few seconds to a half hour to open so it is vital that both people are comfortable. The very fact that time can play an essential role in female ejaculation could be why many women have never experienced it – not enough time and dedication was invested into her pleasure. As stimulation is increased and the woman deepens her acceptance to pleasure, the waters will start to come, from as little as a teaspoon to fully soaking the mattress. The taste of this water will differ depending on the health of the woman. The healthier the body, the clearer and sweeter the taste. I have found that the more open the heart is, the more ejaculate is released. Forced ejaculation has been reported, by women who practice this, to have depleting effects on the woman whereas surrendered ejaculation has been known to have a highly energising effect.
The opening of the 2nd gate allows the third gate, also known as the cervix, to activate. To fully access this gate the use of skilful fingers, a penis or a dildo becomes essential. All around the cervix can be found many mini erotogenic spots (bliss-spots) which can be gently and firmly massaged by slow thrusts to the left, right and below the cervix with care not to hit or bang it. The cervix itself contains many ducts (which contribute to all the different discharges a woman experiences throughout a monthly cycle) and can be stimulated by gentle caressing and massaging (see sexual reflexology). I have found that direct stimulation of the cervix can often result in an intense opening of the heart – feelings of love and vulnerability are commonly felt. The more a woman can allow herself to fall deeper into her own mysterious ocean, trusting herself to guide her partner to her full activation, the more likely the 3rd gate will open. The sensation of this opening is very, very deep and releases the 3rd water (resembles a thick, viscous fluid). The cervix may feel like it is opening and closing or sucking as it contracts in orgasmic release. Penetration from behind lends to an easier access to the cervix. Taoist screwing techniques (tiny spiralling of the sacrum) are ideal for this and tend to bring more awareness and chi (energy) then just thrusting.
The opening of all three gates is a very powerful experience for both partners. Making love afterwards is incredibly sacred and quite different in its expression then regular intercourse. It is much easier to access ‘higher orgasm’ in this state. Higher orgasm involves valley orgasms (multi-orgasms) which never really peak, simply rising higher and higher with intermittent periods of stillness and expansion. Lovers may choose to stop at this point and breathe and rest together, absorbing the healing nectar (ambrosia/ejaculate) into their bodies (taken in through drinking, licking and massaging). If they choose to continue, the waters will most likely continue to flow in an expression of the inexhaustible YIN.
The journey into the ancient art of ambrosia activation is precious and deeply healing not only for the couple, but also for the Divine Feminine essence that lives in all beings. Activating the 3 gates in this sequence is only one of many, many ways to call forth the sacred waters and “If we are having fun having sex, we’re doing it right”. (Dr. Pega Ren).
Once the gates have been activated and understood by the woman, she can then access her sacred waters whenever she desires. The more practice she has, the more she will be able to let her succulence fill her. She will be able to expand her erotic fingerprint or potential to beyond-sex experiences where a sunset, a smell, etc could activate her juices to flow. Each gate can be opened in sequence or individually, there are no rules only guidelines. One hormone often stimulates another to be released and then there is a chain reaction. This is why the Taoists recommend opening the first gate, then the 2nd and 3rd gates.
This sequence also lends to support the woman to open up to her innate ecstasy.
Many believe that women cannot ejaculate and in essence they cannot ejaculate semen (like a man), but they can and do have their own sexual fluids which can be released out of the body through arousal and orgasm. Ejaculation is an attribute of both the man and the woman. All the old dogma and stigma around sexual expression needs to be looked at with new eyes and a new paradigm needs to be created where all expressions, ejaculation and non-ejaculation, are embraced. Thankfully what remains to be uncovered is the ‘art of be-ing’. Slowing down, living in the NOW and extending orgasm into the infinite bliss of timelessness.